To Be

Posted: September 21, 2014 in The Thoughts
Tags: , , , ,

As you walk into the darkness of the chamber,
Leaving behind traces of arousal,
I watch your body sway, close to nakedness,
I hear nothing but the silence of lust
Teasing me to follow into that charm
Yet not asking to be.

Enchanted and lost, I wish to walk along,
To be buried into that darkness that dwells passion
Breaking away from the spell of the black and white
To be lost in the greyness of our own world
Your words flirting more than your body
Just wanting me to be

Demystified I stare at you for I know the end,
Unlike the past, it is puzzling where to begin
To hold myself and lose you in those shadows
Or to be held in your warmth that will drown.
I step into that darkness to be a lost shadow
Or just to be.

Anecdote: Surviving or Saving

Posted: June 28, 2014 in The Things

She walked up to the edge of the platform to find what the four legged mother and her young puppies were staring at and I followed her. Right under the train, between the track and the platform was another young one. The wheels of the train touching the tiny strands of its hair. She looked at me and I knew what I had to do but not sure how to do it.
She asked me to quickly do it.
I jumped down between the compartments and pulled it out. I got back on the platform and minutes later the train moved.
I looked back at the mother as she licked her young one endlessly. With a sense of pride of being a savior and certain fear of possibilities, I walked along with her and that beautiful smile on her face.
As we walked out of the station, I asked her in jest.
Me “What if I something had gone wrong?”
She “I knew that you wouldn’t let me down and more importantly you just saved two lives. The young puppy’s and yours”

I wasn’t sure if I was a savior or a survivor.

Pondicherry, November 2013.


Posted: June 20, 2014 in The Thoughts

Often lost and entangled in my own thoughts,
Shying away from words, I have little to say,
Coz underneath this silence, everything rots.
Yet again you walk into my life someday
And ask me to write.

A few words these yet nothing will alter,
Coz we are not us anymore, unlike the past
When words of passion and love knew no fear
I am no more me, you way too lost
Coz you ask me to write.



Due to my drinking habits and my screwed up linguistic ability I haven’t made a lot of friends in Kerala and therefore my social circle is restricted to handful of people from work, young people who are photographers, musicians or cinema lovers and some foreigners who don’t judge me for my drinking habits.

I was recently on a look out for a new house as the Mrs was planning to move in with me and therefore I was regularly on calls with a lot of real estate agents from and around Kochi. Around this time I was introduced to this 18 something young photographer from the city. Young, vibrant and very good at capturing moments on his camera, this guy often used to chat up with me and we used to discuss lot of things.

About a week ago, I was with this real estate agent who was taking me around the city to check suitable places for myself. Sitting in a rikshaw, having travelled half of the city and totally pissed for not being able to find a good house and that is when this 18 something friend of mine popped up on the chat. He asked me about my whereabouts and  I informed him that I was a bit busy. He asked me if everything was fine. And then this was our conversation.

Me “Da ninaku Ernakulathu  nalla parijayam ondo?” (Do you have a lot of contacts in Ernakulam?)

He “Avishatil erre onda, JK para JK’kyu enda vendiyada”  (Enough and more. Let me know what you want)

Me “Eda Nalla Weedu noki erangiyada, onnum kittanu illa” (I am out searching for some house,couldn’t find any)

He “Machchan, tension adikyenda, njan opichu taraam”  (Buddy, you need not be worried. I will arrange it for you)

Me “Thanks da. Will catch up with you later


I went ahead with the house hunting only to be disappointed and come back home. It must have been around 9 in the night, I was indulged in a book, and that is when I heard my phone calling out for my attention. I lazily walked across and answered ‘my photographer’ friend’s call.

He: “Hello Machcha. You home?”

Me: “Yeah. why?”

He:  “Open the door; I have got something for you. Good news only. Open, no”

I smiled thinking about the ‘No’ as he used it and opened the door. He was standing there smiling wide and his hands extended.

I was wondering what it would be. A lot of thoughts ran through my house hunting occupied head. A key to some beautiful house, somebody’s number who has a house or might be some simple gift were some of my guesses.

I reached out and he slowly placed what was in his hand into mine. I couldn’t recognize what it was until I smelled it. Strongly smelling like weed, tightly packed in a plastic, light and very much confusing.  This was confusing because he knew that I was neither into drugs nor into alcohol and giving this to me definitely didn’t make any sense. The confusion on my face was evident and his smile faded away.

He asked me with a frown on his face “Machchan alle paranje, nalla Weed’u venam enu” (Buddy you told me that you wanted some good weed)

And I could not stop laughing

Furrow of Memories

Posted: February 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

Breathing darkness into my soul,
I wander in this furrow of memories
Seldom do I stop and wonder why I wander,
coz these are memories of nothing but you.

Walking ahead in time still lost in my own past,
I wonder what hurts me more.
If it’s the limitless memories of you
Or the lesser time we have been together.

Let us walk again as we did once,
Relive those moments that we called life
Breathe in some light into our souls,
And wander away in this furrow of memories…. Again.

Playing with Words

Posted: August 26, 2013 in The Thoughts
Tags: , , , , ,

He was playing with the words,
His soul floundering within,
Unlearning his life with verbs and verses,
Reading her words and pouring his own
He watched her fade and bicker again
She took them away; his words.

Words set to tease and unperturbed she was,
Thoughts as bait and indifferent he seemed,
Playful again, as they played with words,
Undefined emotions and undesired passion,
Meaningless words to mystical thoughts,
He put them back; her words.

His words escaping her, she watched
Her thoughts intriguing him, he falls
Ardour withheld for the fear of uncertainty,
Love, lust, rage; indecisive and overlooked
Defeating to lose and winning to conquer,
Together they play with these words.




*Written sometime back. A few edits.

We Willie Winkie

Wee Willie Winkie
Runs through the town
Upstairs and down stairs
In his night gown

Rapping on the windows
Crying through the lock
“Are the children all in bed
Or they stripping on skype and Gtalk?”


There was an old Woman Who lived in a shoe

There was an old Sonia
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many ministers
She didn’t know what to do
She gave them some ministry
Their Scams are now a Mystery
She owned them like a boss
And now we have a nation at loss


Row Row Row your Boat.

Drive drive drive your car
Gently down the potholes
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Coz the politicians are assholes.


The Itsy Bitsy Spider

The itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
Spider survived but our Roads were washed out.


Teddy Bear Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear Teddy Bear
Turn around
Teddy bear Teddy bear
Touch the ground
Teddy Bear couldn’t coz he was fucking fat.