For Swine Flu You Have To Sex

Posted: February 20, 2010 in The Things
Tags: , ,

“It’s a pig’s revenge or it might be another method of biological warfare by some Arab nation” this is what a geni-ass blogger had to say about the current trauma. I haven’t yet thought about the authenticity of his thought or may be I will write about the same later… as of now he seems to be a geni-ass to me. So the world was getting away from the economic flu….Am sorry .. economic downturn( can’t help I read too much of flu these days) when this so called bio-illogical thing happened. I seriously don’t know how the world is combating it but I can surely talk about what I did or rather to be honest how I suffered.
To begin with I still am not sure whether am a victim or a scareD crow…. It all started with my dear friend Nayan showing outwardly symptoms of swine flu but still believed that he was doing great. (well he believed so) So we went to a doctor who himself looked more than ill with a mask across his face. He just touched here and there and did what every doctor on the earth I know does…. The stethoscope stunt…. He just looked onto his face and said u show symptoms of upper respiratory chest infection but the symptoms are as good as the swine flu. Well that did the trick because by then I was having cough, nose block and almost every ill comfort that Nayan was going through. NEXT I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID I WAS ALMOST GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING.. some tablets for me too..

The real trouble started with the mails sent across to me in regards to the swine flu alert. Thanks to all my friends and not so friendly souls. With each symptom that was suggested to me I realised that I was showing that symptom and soon I was a swine flu victim( atleast for me)  to quote nayan “dude its you who is sick and not your body… you are going through what they call anxiety fever” well may be I was but then I had all the right reason to be worried. Everyone laughed at me.. coz I was being a source of entertainment to them…. Ya I was scared and scared of death……well things continued…And being such a thoughtful citizen I called the toll free number. They asked me to rush to the hospital. I did rush only to find that they wanted me to go to some place else because they weren’t equipped. I was frustrated and irritated that added to ma already minor headache….. next day I went to the suggested hospital and i waited outside a mortuary which was next to the swine flu care center.. so suggestive of them.. may be it was an indication about where you landed once you are sick with this piggy disease. They asked me sore throat I said yes, They ask me cough I said yes, They ask me a dripping nose I said no, They ask me nose block( well am not sure if they meant “no dripping nose”) I said yes, They ask me breathing problem I said yes, They ask me what else… I said chest pain, minor pressure in stomach.. feeling weak… minor head ache. They again asked me if had fever I said nope. Well they say I don’t have swine flu…but then what if had answered the other way  no head ache no chest pain, no cough , high fever, no nose block… never knew this were the signs of swine flu…. but then the doctor prescribes some medicines and ask me to go for a blood check. I am good with that and went for it …. The blood report was calm. A bit of cholesterol perfect 15 HB and then comes the trouble maker its 17% EOSONOPHILS…. Holy shit I am sure I spelt it wrong but well who cares I was just worried about whatsoever it was. Google is god when you want peace and not when you are down with some holy anxiety.. google said EOSONOPHILS and it read incurable and I also saw the word swine flu around. Well toll free number again. I was asked to rush to the hospital meet the doctor at the swine flu centre. I walked in with the mask on and well perfect sad situation to walk into when you are tensed. More than a hundred  people all coughing and cooing in a rhythm and no one and I mean it not even one of them was wearing a mask. I wasn’t ready to go through the same crap.. I had been through enough sweated even cried out of being scared….. so I just called up the doctor and asked her what should I do.. she just asked me to meet her directly rather than standing out.

I was put through the same set of questions and the doctor finally said… “you are just fine….. a normal flu just need to SEX”
Who wouldn’t like such a prescription but the joy was shattered too soon to be enjoyed… “tossex three times a day”

But am still laughing…. I still have all the stupid symptoms but who cares…… may be as one of the mails read “its just another flu don’t be worried eat healthy and rest”. Am just doing that and am happy. I don’t know who had the last laugh me or those who thought I was just having an anxiety fever. May be them!!!


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